These Times They Are A Changing

Did you notice the change in the background?  If you haven’t, you’re probably too new here to have caught that… for those that did, I hope that something in your mind said “hey, what’s with the different thing?”  That’s what I would like to mention.

When I bought Lime Flavored.com way back in 2000, I wanted a website that could be quirky and emulate one (or more) of the websites that I found interesting back at the time.  As time went on, those sites I wanted to emulate changed but I wanted to emulate someone.  I’ve had some favorite designs but overall, I’ve been fairly dissatisfied with the results and 14 years later, Lime Flavored.com has been born again and trying to become something new, some truly original.

Whether the fault lies with just me or has been the inconsistency over the years, Lime Flavored.com has been many things but almost none of them have stuck around long enough to get any traction.  That, in my eyes, means it’s time for a fresh start.

Over the course of the next few months I’ll be altering the website to reflect the new identity, the new URL.  Lime Flavored.com will shortly become empty, dead, whatever, and will be replaced by something that has no history, no track record, and nothing associated with it.  Those who are inquisitive enough, or smart enough, will figure out what the new URL is within a few minutes and the rest of you will just have to wait until I announce the change.

I’m not blasting the site clean.  I’m not uninstalling and reinstalling anything.  From this moment on, things will slowly transition and just like the WWE, I’ll slowly stop calling myself one thing and start calling myself another.  When that new thing starts is when I’ll try to kick the new vision into high gear.

Lime Flavored.com lasted from January 4, 2000 to July 12, 2014… essentially.  I will actually retain control of the domain name in the hopes someone would like to buy it and use it for something different, but the new domain name will become my new online identity.

This is your warning.  Don’t be shocked when more things change, because they WILL change.  Just know that I’m altering my online identity and that should result in a renewed vigor for creativity.

I’m moving to a new place, why not start online fresh, too?

A Review of Assassin’s Creed: Revelations (The Movie)

Yes… a YouTube movie review again.

ac2revEzio is back in this final installment, well, final for Ezio.  We get some Inception this time around, though, as Desmond is in the Animus watching what Ezio is doing, who is also getting a lot of Altair’s life… a dream within a dream within a dream.  That’s kind of heavy.

We get ALMOST to the end of the Desmond Miles saga as Ezio brings us to a place where we can all go “holy crap that is awesome.”  The last Ezio adventure also shows us that the man, while awesome, is running on fumes.  The “elder statesman” role is something I don’t like to see Ezio doing but he manages to be cool right up to the point where we realize that this is the last hoorah.

In case anyone was wondering, I’ll use this opportunity to say that some of us aren’t good at games like this.  Those that are tend to be a specific type of person and the great guy who put these movies together has given me the chance to witness the awesome story without having to be ashamed of my gaming skills.  I give this one five out of five stars for content, but I’ll say that AC2 is still better.

Life Imitates Wrestling 3 – Staying Focused

Speaking quite literally, of course, I’m about to talk about staying focused on one thing.  Whether that be a goal, a subject, or a general direction in life, though most of my references are going to be about what I’ve experienced in recent times.  Welcome to Life Imitates Wrestling.

lifeimitateswrestling_300A person I’ll identify as “the Duke” often engages people in “the company” in conversation, and quite often (when he realizes he’s not getting the desired result) attempts to derail the conversation by including the happenings of other “companies” (including the activities of Tom, Dick, and Harry… generically referred to because the names really don’t matter).  The Duke often gets away with this because no one stands up to the Duke to keep the conversation on track.

Enter the three individuals that will now play an intricate part in the tale I shall tell.  “The Radmiral” Seaman Beaumont (because he sails the Seven Seas of awesome), Captain Gabbers, and the Whip.

Recently, a tag team match between Captain Gabbers and the Whip against the Duke and a masked special guest, Mr. X resulted in the Whip getting tossed around a bit more than he wanted but managed to come out without losing a step.  Captain Gabbers joined in the fun with the Duke and went all around the ring, regardless of what the match initially started about, was done so that the focus was no longer on the original topic.  Basically, the Duke and Mr. X escaped without a loss by diverting the attention of almost everyone.

That’s where the Whip took notice, plotted out a counterattack, and started focusing on the grand prize: the World Tag Team Championships.  Now, unfortunately, Captain Gabbers is nearly as bad as the Duke when it comes to staying focused, so the Whip’s tag team partner really needs to be the Radmiral.

Here’s the catch: the Radmiral is solidly a singles wrestler and isn’t looking for tag team gold… he wants a much bigger prize, though he knows that sometimes you need to get along with others in order to attain those goals.

The Duke and the Radmiral have worked together in the past but recently those goals have not been in sync.  The Radmiral really wants singles gold and the Duke claims to support that goal but has done almost everything possible for the company to keep the Radmiral from the gold.  While the Duke is a nuisance, the real problem that the Radmiral knows is there (the diversion tactic) has already had some research done to stop.

What the hell are you talking about, DJ?  Keep reading.

Captain Gabbers has tried to use the tactics of the Duke on the Radmiral and the Radmiral has slapped down those attempts, keeping Gabbers focused.  This has allied Gabbers closer to the Whip, giving the duo a chance to actually take a shot at the World Tag Team Championships.  This brings us to the meat of the topic… I’ll also stop with all the metaphors for wrestling, for clarity.

If I talk to you about a goal that I have, and you actively stand in the way of that goal but don’t think I know you stand in my way, when you attempt to include the goings on of Tom, Dick, and Harry in Georgia, Canada, and the Bahamas I’ll shut your ass down.  I don’t give a damn what those three are doing in those three locations.  That does not apply to my situation, question, or circumstances.  Now, if I’m after a bit of down time, sure, talk away, but if I ask you about Coca Cola, don’t try to tell me about Cheetohs, Little Debbie Zebra Cakes, and Dairy Queen ice cream.  Those three things have almost nothing to do with Coca Cola.

A person is judged on their substance.  If that person’s substance is nothing but smoke and mirrors, then that substance on which the person is judged suddenly becomes less substantial.  Respect is lost and that substance light person is less likely to be given respect at the previous level.  Basically, the level of trust I have for “the Duke” has diminished, significantly.

Don’t be light on substance.  Stay on topic.  When you have a match, focus on your opponent and their goals rather than trying to distract your opponent with parlor tricks and overload them with nonsense information.  That really isn’t worth anyone’s time.

On a side note, I have to say that the situation I was originally writing about (that you have not seen the draft of, by the way) has completely come out in my favor.  I was going to spin a yarn about folks and situations that really hasn’t gone the direction I thought, and though I’ve had a speed bump or two, there is literally nothing else that can be thrown at me at this point in time.  Only what I’ve been after is what’s left and as soon as I get that, I can get out of “high school” and start working towards getting someplace where people appreciate me (and my efforts).

That is probably the most direct thing I’ll say on this column.  Times are tough and people suck.  The hero cannot be held down perpetually, especially when the drive of that person outweighs your ability to provide obstacles to prevent them from reaching their goals.

Think on it.

A Review of Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood (The Movie)

As before, this is for the movie on YouTube of the game footage/storyline of Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood.

ac2broThe second installment of the Ezio trilogy comes in where we left off in Assassin’s Creed II, although this story doesn’t span quite as many years as the previous installment, we are given a very nice chunk of Ezio’s story in this story.

Desmond also comes to learn some interesting tidbits as the modern day crew is on their own chase, which turns out in the end… something you should check out for yourself.

Overall, I think that I liked AC2 more but I’ll still be giving this one five out of five stars for the effort, the story, and I am actually interested in the next installment because of where this one leaves off…

The Review of Assassin’s Creed II (The Movie)

Just like the last Assassin’s Creed movie I reviewed, this one is also from YouTube and is made of game footage.  There will be more reviews for future installments, but this one is for Assassin’s Creed II.

ac2The first installment followed Altair, through the perspective of Desmond in the modern day, but this one follows a whole new assassin: Ezio.  This one is the most famous of the group, as I am coming to discover, as there have been more stories told around this assassin than any other.  This is the origin story for Ezio, though, and that only accents the Desmond mystery we are learning more about.

Ezio’s father was an assassin and when his family is murdered by the Templars, Ezio takes up the garb and is trained by several characters we meet along the way to exact his revenge.  Having also listened to the audio book about this particular installment, I have to say that Ezio’s origin is a long one but well worth the effort.

I have to give this one a five out of five stars because of the two I’ve reviewed so far, this one was better.  I did like Altair’s tale but we find out so much more about what is really going on with Desmond in this particular installment.  As with most video games, I am wondering if these will be getting better as they go.  The graphics definitely improved!

Kristen Stewart is Famous… You Are Not

To everyone who says that Keanu Reeves is a cardboard cutout of an actor.  To everyone who says Kristen Stewart’s facial expressions range at just one.  To everyone who says that any famous person, especially one who gets a lot of work, is two dimensional… just remember one thing: they are famous and you are not.

KS_haters_gonna_hateKeanu Reeves has played a wide range of roles in his time as an actor, yet, people only ever associate him with “Ted” from Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.  If he wasn’t a good actor, at least somewhat, he wouldn’t keep getting top notch roles in Hollywood.  These aren’t even B or C list roles, people, they are A list roles.  Hell, he’s headlining more often than he isn’t and he’s played everything from a time traveling writer to white trailer trash.  The man can act and despite what you think, he’s way more famous than you are… which means if you think he’s terrible, what does that make you?  You couldn’t act your way out of the living room while watching a cereal commercial on Saturday morning, so don’t judge.

Kristen Stewart has been getting top notch roles, too.  She’s got more than one facial expression and I don’t give a damn what anyone says: she is hot.  Hating on her?  Well, the same logic I just used on Keanu up there applies to Kristen Stewart, too.  Hell, she’s now part of one of the most popular franchises out there… and you all hate that because you want to double dip hating the author, who I can use the “you couldn’t write your name compared to Stephenie Meyer”, and hating the actress… who you know has more talent in her left butt cheek than you do in your entire ancestry.

Just shut up.  I’m tired of hearing you hate on someone, justifying it however you will.  Hate them.  But do it quietly.

iOS vs. Android

upload-your-photos-instagram-without-android-apple-device.w654

I don’t like Android.  My dislike of the OS is based on having actually used a version, multiple versions actually, and I dislike the experience.  The phone that actually drove me to iPhone was the phone running Android 2.something… and the phone was a Samsung, which was a double suck.

This isn’t about how much I don’t really like Android.  (Before you judge, I was using the most current version of Android on the tablet I was using to play Ingress on.)  This is about how much of the excuses I like to term as “lame” people use to justify why they don’t like the competitor.

I’ll use some metaphors, first.

I don’t like Coke because the can is red.  Really?  You don’t like the can so you don’t like the taste?

I don’t like Pepsi because the company is run by a douche.  Well, based on that you should really be hating on the Hobby Lobby assholes, right?  Disliking the product because of the person who runs the company is lame-sauce supreme.

I’ve been told that iOS is terrible because the phone doesn’t have a “back” button.  I’ve been told iOS is awful because you can’t arrange the icons into the shape of Mickey Mouse’s head.  I’ve been told iOS sucks because Steve Jobs is a douche bag.  I’ve been told iOS lacks awesome because it doesn’t run “X” app.

How many of those excuse wielding idiots have actually used iOS?  None.  Not one single person who used those excuses has even used the OS.  How can you hate something you have never experienced?  I don’t like Android, but I’ve USED the OS.

The same argument against Macs have been used to favor Windows, too.  You can’t tinker on a Mac.  Windows has more options.  Windows is this… Windows is that… You know what?  I don’t WANT to tinker.  I don’t WANT those options because those options come with viruses.  I use a Mac, and iOS, because it just WORKS.  I don’t need to have defray run every other day, I don’t have to pull the battery out of my phone to get it to start working again.  My stuff just WORKS.  And the best part: it all works TOGETHER.

Next time you open your mouth to complain that iOS sucks or that Android can’t do this… stop.  Stop and actually try using the other one.  I don’t mean play around with an iPod at Best Buy for a whopping 37 seconds, I’m talking about using the phone for something longer than a week.  Maybe you’ll find out that the choice isn’t right for you… but at least you’ll have an excuse better than “I can’t buy an iPhone in fuchsia.”  I can’t help you, you’re stupid.

Ingress for iOS has Arrived

It’s about damn time, too.

photoThe game that I’ve been playing on a crappy Android tablet, tethered to my wife’s HotSpot, is finally out for iOS so that I can Ingress wherever, and whenever, I choose.  Starting this morning, I got to stretch my playing legs to squeeze in some early morning play by walking a bit before work.  After work, there was more Ingress playing involved and I couldn’t be happier.

Well, that’s not entirely accurate.

In the iOS version, you apparently can’t submit portals yet.  Well, slight snag, sure, but I can still do almost everything else one can do in the game.  Hell, my primary goal today was setting up, linking, and hacking as much as possible… and I get to do it all again tomorrow!

This topic will segue into a topic later this week but let me tell you that for now, Ingress is wicked awesome and my enthusiasm for the game is through the roof!

Go Ingress!

So, So Tired of Haters for the Sake of Hating

Listen up, tools: I’m tired of hating for the sake of hating.  If you do this, you’re a loser.  End of story.

Let’s look at the first thing I’m sick of hearing about being “terrible”: the Star Wars prequels.  You claim to be a big Star Wars fan but you hate half of the movies that came out?  Doesn’t sound like much of a fan to me.

prequelsSo the dialog is a little corny, stiff, or silly.  So some of the names of characters aren’t epic as “chewing tobacco” and “calamari.”  If you don’t love them, you don’t have to.  Just accept them because they are, whether or not you like them, canon.  They ARE part of Star Wars and they will ALWAYS BE part of Star Wars.  Stop whining, you sound like a four year old.

There’s something else to think about… there is an entire generation of kids that have grown up with the prequels as their movies, making the originals look dated and slow.  When you die off, no one will give a crap because you’re not famous or important.  Your opinion will die with you.  Just like their opinion will die with them because the Sequel Trilogy will represent another new generation.

Suck on that, haters.

How about the hate for Twilight?  If you hate Twilight so much, losers, why do you spend almost every waking moment ridiculing it?

KS_haters_gonna_hateThe “better love story than Twilight” is about to become passé.  By that I mean that the phrase is so overused by so many losers that it looses all meaning.  It’s the new “that’s what she said,” which was the replacement for “your mom.”  Yes, the lame “your mom” is exactly what “a better love story than Twilight” has become.  You’re lame.  Yes, you.

Stop hating.  If you really hate something, give it ZERO attention.  ZERO.  Z-E-R-O.  What gives things like this grounds to thrive?  ATTENTION.  Yes, you want to hate Twilight, do it silently.  You want to hate Hunger Games?  Do it silently.  You want to hate Stephen King or Anne Rice?  Do it silently.  The more publicity you give something the more traction that something gets the more popular that something gets and thus the more “in your face” that something gets.

See?  You’re too lame to even figure that out.

Think about it for just a second before opening your pie hole.

It’s Happening… But When?

Like the title says, it’s happening… but when?  That is the signifier that it is closer than ever to the time when I actually leave one state for a permanent move to another.  I am moving, I just don’t have a set date yet.

Yes, I am actually moving out of North Dakota.

Work has progressed in a general direction of being great (with what I used to do and would like to do again in the future) to somewhat less great (with having to deal with people rather than just doing a job).  I’m openly saying this because I’m beginning to not care what people think.  Hell, I haven’t called anyone out or mentioned anything specific… and probably won’t, so stop digging for dirt.

In a conversation with a friend at work yesterday, we both remarked (in one form or another) that we were in school (elementary, high school, whatever) and thought “I can’t wait to get out into the real world so I don’t have to deal with other peoples’ drama.”  We both then came to realize that those people we were trying to get away from are all over the place.  THEY got out, too, and decided to keep creating drama.

I’m moving away from all of that, though.  Not that I believe where I’m going isn’t going to have some level of drama, no I’m sure that there will be drama… I just won’t have to deal with people who’s drama is exactly the same drama all across the board.  I don’t have to listen to one person tell me one thing and then hear they’re telling someone else the exact opposite thing (in my opinion because they want to look cool).  The opposite thing, by the way, isn’t coming from work… hint, hint to shut your mouth.

No, I think that will still go on.  The major problem with my current location is that everyone has “worked with me in a non-supervisory role” and will have issues accepting me as an authority figure. So, when I move, no problems because they’ll only know me as an authority figure.  Major problem solved.

That isn’t actually why I’m moving, though.  The reason I’m moving is because I hate North Dakota.  I have never really liked living here, I don’t like the weather, I don’t like the personalities, I don’t like the culture, I don’t like the people, I don’t like the emptiness, and I don’t like the political leanings.  If you aren’t a straight, white, old man who is firmly of Christian beliefs then this state is not for you.  Yes, that’s right, I live in a terrible place.

Women are second class citizens.  Men make all decisions and are expected to make all the decisions.  Women aren’t smart enough to do anything important without a man.  All the jobs are in the oil field.  You have to like hunting, guns, and farming or you’re a fucking communist.  Yep, the vast wasteland that is North Dakota is a pointless and barren place full of people I don’t want to be around… and the landscape sucks ass, too.

Ever driven somewhere and felt you were in a race?  That’s called “going to work” in North Dakota.  It’s also called “going to get lunch,” “going to the grocery store,” “going to the movie,” “going over to a friend’s house,” “going to the mall,” and basically any other combination of “going” with a destination.

Want to get into another lane?  Turn your signal on and watch the other “courteous drivers” actually SPEED UP to prevent you from merging.  How about the blinker being a decoration rather than a valuable part of the driving experience?  What about the predominance of pick up trucks on the road that serve no more purpose than to display how tiny the penises of the drivers?  Yep, that’s North Dakota.

I hate this place.  I can’t wait to leave.

Where am I going?  That’s for a later date.  I’ll be counting the days until I can move and when I can move, I’ll be so happy I’ll probably record a video of me bouncing off the walls.  Moving will be great.

Thanks for letting me rant.  I’ll miss a few people but unfortunately, I’d rather miss the few than put up with the many to stay.

DJ